Real Men Cry: The Benefits of Crying
For years, society has reinforced the idea that “real men don’t cry.” The stereotype of a strong, silent man who represses his emotions has long been the standard of masculinity. But as we evolve in our understanding of mental health and emotional well-being, it’s becoming increasingly clear that real men do cry – and that this is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. Crying is a powerful emotional release that offers a host of benefits, both physically and mentally.
The Emotional Release
Crying is one of the most natural responses to pain, grief, and overwhelming emotions. When men suppress their tears, they often end up bottling up feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration, which can manifest in unhealthy ways later – whether through outbursts, stress, or even physical illness. Crying, on the other hand, offers a direct outlet for those feelings.
Men often feel pressure to remain stoic, to push through their struggles in silence, or to “man up” in difficult times. However, holding back emotions doesn’t make them go away. By allowing themselves to cry, men can release those built-up feelings, which creates space for healing and growth. When we cry, we acknowledge our vulnerability, and in doing so, we open ourselves up to deeper emotional connection and self-awareness.
The Science of Crying
From a biological standpoint, crying serves multiple purposes. Tears contain stress hormones, so crying literally helps the body rid itself of these harmful chemicals. After crying, many people feel a sense of relief or lightness – like a weight has been lifted off their shoulders. This is because the act of crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm the body and reduce tension.
Studies have shown that emotional tears also release oxytocin and endorphins, the “feel-good” chemicals that promote a sense of well-being. This natural high following a good cry explains why people often feel better after allowing themselves to weep. It’s not just about emotional release; it’s a physiological process that helps the body reset.
Crying and Masculinity
The cultural myth that men shouldn’t cry has roots in outdated notions of masculinity. In many societies, crying is seen as a sign of weakness, femininity, or emotional instability. This belief has led generations of men to suppress their feelings, leading to emotional isolation, higher rates of depression, and even higher rates of suicide. But real strength lies in vulnerability, in the willingness to express our emotions, regardless of gender norms.
Allowing ourselves to cry doesn’t make us less of a man – it makes us more human. Men who embrace their emotions are more likely to develop deeper connections with others, have better emotional intelligence, and experience lower levels of stress. It takes more courage to confront your feelings head-on than it does to run from them.
The Power of Vulnerability
One of the most significant benefits of crying is that it fosters emotional vulnerability, which is essential for real connection. Many men struggle to form deep, authentic relationships because they’ve been taught to guard their emotions. But in truth, vulnerability is what brings people closer. When men allow themselves to cry, especially in front of others, they are breaking down emotional walls and showing that they are human.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s honesty. And in a world that often encourages men to hide their true feelings, honesty is a revolutionary act. Crying doesn’t make you less of a man; it makes you brave enough to show your true self.
Crying in “THE WORK”
In my experience, THE WORK – a combination of physical and emotional training – helps men confront their vulnerabilities, including their relationship with crying. As part of our journey, we encourage men to embrace their full range of emotions, whether that’s through physical exertion, meditation, or deep emotional release. Crying is often a key part of this process.
When men allow themselves to release their emotions through tears, they begin to unravel the layers of trauma, pain, and societal conditioning that have kept them emotionally numb. In THE WORK, we aim to strip away the masks that men are often forced to wear and help them reconnect with their authentic selves. Tears are a vital part of that journey.
The Benefits of Crying
Here are some of the tangible benefits men can experience from crying:
1. Stress Relief: Crying helps flush out stress hormones and triggers the release of endorphins, promoting relaxation.
2. Emotional Balance: By releasing pent-up emotions, men can experience more emotional clarity and reduce feelings of anxiety or anger.
3. Improved Mental Health: Allowing yourself to cry can be an essential step in addressing issues like depression or emotional numbness.
4. Better Sleep: Crying has a calming effect on the body, which can lead to better sleep and less restlessness at night.
5. Strengthened Relationships: Crying in front of others fosters deeper connections and builds trust in relationships, whether with a partner, friend, or even yourself.
6. Physical Health: Suppressing emotions has been linked to physical ailments like headaches, muscle tension, and digestive issues. Crying can relieve this tension.
Breaking the Stigma
The stigma around men crying is slowly beginning to fade, but we still have a long way to go. It’s crucial for men to be given the space to express their emotions freely, without judgment or shame. When we challenge the outdated narrative that equates crying with weakness, we open up the possibility for healthier, more emotionally intelligent men.
If you’re a man who’s been holding back your tears, know that you’re not alone. Real men cry. They cry because they are human, because they feel, and because they understand that emotional release is part of living a full, authentic life.
So the next time you feel the tears welling up, don’t fight them. Let them flow, knowing that with each tear, you’re stepping into a stronger, more honest version of yourself. And in doing so, you’re not just helping yourself – you’re contributing to a cultural shift that allows all men to be free to feel.
Let THE WORK be part of that journey, because real men aren’t afraid to cry, and real strength comes from embracing who we truly are, emotions and all.
